Waiting on the rain.

This comes form my portfolio on writing.com . It gives me great pleasure to read this again. It isn’t much in the way of wordage, but it packs a punch. A thief I am when I succeed.

Last week, I was contemplating a degree in Creative Writing; an MFA. Today, I’m contemplating the personal experience of my son’s tragic accident of four years ago. My mind spins with constant activity of new goals. New ideas and new projects that want to leap to completion without the drudging of daily plodding. This daily plodding often becomes derailed because of chores and incessant tasks of parenthood. As hard as I try to maintain focus, I always find an email or voicemail, laundry or other chore which fights to overpower my desire to create.

Starting a new project idea or creation is never an issue. My spontaneity is very strong and I can easily arrive at another idea. Creative thinking is my strongest asset. Follow-through is the difficult part. How do I maintain that spark of creativity fire-cracker-ed to keep sparkling with the same energy toward completion?

In September 2017, Writer’s Digest Magazine had an article written by David Corbett. He wrote, “It’s important that you not just write, but finish. Completing a project builds confidence, and confidence silences doubt.” (Corbett, D. 2017, September, p. 29).

How does a person build confidence to daily prod along toward completion? From where will I find the confidence to continue my daily trudging? I found a website to encourage me with confidence. Stratejoy has 12 rules written by Molly Maher. She is a psychologist with a mission to help women trust themselves and realize they have influence and should be proud of it. Her rules, called “The 12 Rules of Inner Confidence” helped me to realize the answer is within myself.

Of the twelve rules, I chose three to use as chunked information. Besides, three is a magic number.

1. Be positive. Hold onto your positivity! I need to practice my writing and tell myself I am a writer; and write it every day. Like the Secret, taping the statement to my ceiling along with the latest project name or picture will help me to visualize completion. Daily input of seeing this before I go to sleep and when I awaken each morning will make my inner confidence stronger.
2. Hold onto integrity. Ms. Maher states, “Building inner confidence requires being accountable for my actions and reactions; the good and the bad”. Once I accept my weakness to be easily distracted, I’ll be able to keep my guard up and focus!
3. Get stubborn! Maher says, “Do things your way.” Just like Sinatra, there’s an influence of style when I can say, I did it my way. My disabled son always, regardless of action, says, “I did it!” There’s something to that.

When I take the first opportunity to act and follow-through, just as I am now with this article, I can feel the assurance and reassurance grow within. If I practice confidence and all the actions that help to make it stronger, it can only grow. Just like practice makes perfect; practice builds confidence and discipline. Each day I practice, each day I succeed; and the spark makes a fire.

Sources:

Corbett, D. 2017, September, p. 29. Writer’s Digest Magazine. F & W Media, Inc., 10151 Carver Road, Ste. 300, Cincinnati, OH.

Maher, M. 2017. Stratejoy.com/Twelve-rules-of-inner-confidence/

I’m thankful for many of the individuals who accepted the position of caring for my Lucho. While he is endearing, lovable and playful, his antics frustrate the most patient person on the planet. Even though he has a traumatic brain injury, he isn’t slow by any means. His grasp can swoop in and carry the least suspecting object with a reach that over-extends to lengths like Inspector Gadget. A cup or bowl perceived as out-of-reach becomes airborne within seconds of a blinking eye.

He gathers more speed and direction with each day and progresses in his therapies. I watch as he throws each bean bag with unyielding accuracy while the swing moves back and forth, then side to side. It amazes me how he performs so spontaneously. This spontaneity makes him so much fun, yet so disarming. It’s easy to fall into his playful antics and let your guard down, only to find you are scrambling to save him from a fall. The sudden sound of “scuh-thump” causing me to visually pinpoint where he is as instantly as the “scuh” sound reaches my ears. Then, there he is sitting on the floor with bewilderment as he looks to his right then to his left and wonder how he moved and what did he do.

His Nystagmus prevents him from having good depth perception. He has difficulty knowing where something is because it seems to move on him. Then the distance of the objects are not as they appear. Not only do they seem to move, but the drop from the table seems to baffle him. How did his toys suddenly drop out of sight? How did the floor come up to greet him so quickly? This condition combined with his traumatic brain injury and epilepsy make for a hodgepodge of challenges unseen until the effects have already hit.

Nurses face hidden challenges with Lucho. I’ve heard nurses say, “You never know with him. He is always full of surprises.” Often times, and now more often, the nurses are surprised at my lack of response or astonishment at the speed in which events can turn with him. I’ve had nine years of his unpredictable behavior. I’ve become somewhat desensitized. However, this is not the case for the many nurses who come into our house never knowing what adventure lies waiting for them with Lucho’s care.

Thankfully, most have a good sense of humor. Others have none. Unfortunately, they suffer. While feeding him, they sit on his right with the intent to prevent any food from flying. He eats with his right hand. This hand is more dominant due to the injury.  Not having a faster reflex than Lucho, they wear the oatmeal or the apple juice despite their positive intents. Because of this, the nurses who enjoy the adventure which awaits within my home each day, request that they keep some uniforms stored in his room’ just in case. That’s the way good caregivers and nurses approach Lucho.

There’s a saying prevention is nine tenths of safety. I try to teach the new nurses that strategy is necessary when caring for him. I can only model my strategies. Everyone has different forms of strategy, however, the experienced individuals manage to anticipate his actions of spontaneity better. These are the nurses who stay at least one year. These are the caregivers closest to my heart. I am so thankful for their endurance and sense of adventure.