Category Archives: imagination
Planetary Pleasure
Before settling down with my youngest son to sleep, I snuck another look at the night sky. Beauty beyond all beauty calling me.
As I stood in my back yard among the pool and other back yard objects, I felt like I was enveloped in the night sky. All the lights disappeared. It was me and the night sky, the stars and the planets aligned like never before in my life time. Uranus, Jupiter and Mars, then Venus. Amazing. How could this exist? I never knew such contrast of light and dark with amazing celestial allure.
Why didn’t I become an astronomer? Why didn’t I trust myself and follow the science in the beauty of this planet?
Instead I followed the community service provider. Working in the community has its benefits and rewards, but the awesome and infinite swallowing of space and the stars whispered to me, ‘We have more stories and immeasurable findings to learn from. We don’t frustrate the way human behavior frustrates.”
Pulling out my ‘Night Sky’ app, the sky revealed its intricate and crowded universe. Mars, Jupiter, Uranus and Venus shined brightly overhead. They seemed to be on parade announcing their once in a lifetime universal meeting.
I stretched my neck up and back feeling the dark night. A movement caused the neighbor’s motion light to turn on. Its brightness made me squint. Then it went out. Blackness again. I smiled to myself.
Water burbled like a fountain, soothing the darkness into a welcome surrounded by the glittering stars. I breathed deep. Inhale. Hold, then exhale. My body relaxed and I felt joy. Stars of different colors, not just bright white; yellows and reds and some specks of green or purple.
The patio chair supported my reclined body while the umbrella waved its fake grass like whispers in the breeze. Fresh and cool, the night air took me back to my youth to camping at the end of summer in New York. Remembering the open field and the stars so close, lifting my hand to the sky felt like they were close enough to touch my body.
How amazing and what a pleasure to be able to enjoy such revelation of space and time.
Grateful Grace
A beautiful intro to the morning. Nothing makes me feel more thankful than seeing the moon and the sun share the sky together.
As I struggle these days with consistency and clarity, I feel so grateful for these moments given to me in grace. How beautiful are the heavens. How grateful I am for another day to try again in every endeavor; faith, family and fortitude.
Sunday
He sat at the piano for the full length of bars and rested in his composition so that the audience could experience the amazing music in our surroundings. His composition was a form of meditation. Have you ever sat still, closed your eyes, and listened?
Try it. I dare you. I tried it and found myself feeling restless. I couldn’t feel comfortable with the silence within me. It seemed like it had no direction. I felt guilty sitting in silence. My mind drifted to many places.
Kitchen places, bedroom places, cleaning places, laundry places; then I pushed those thoughts away and went to my creative place. It seemed empty at first. A piece of paper. A pencil. A figure. Movement. It comes in puffs and spurts. As long as I linger, more comes. Just like the composition of John Cage, I start to hear the creativity of me and that around me. I feel encouraged. I can do it.
The clouds moved in causing the sky to look milky-gray. Then I hear a rumble. I run outside looked to the east, hoped for a bright flame burning through the clouds, but there was nothing. I heard the rumble, louder than before and looked to the northwest part of the sky. Nothing, but a deeper rumble. I look at my weather map app, reds, yellows, greens, but they are more than two hours away. I think about my teen son who has epilepsy. His VNS will be sending more charges because of the increased electricity in the air. Thunderstorms do that to him.
I return inside, thinking how the weather keeps us guessing. I pour myself a feel-good, wake-me-up-kind-of-coffee.
Then I sit down to write. Sometimes it comes easy. Sometimes it doesn’t come at all. Everything is a work in progress.
I’ve started reading Be, Awake, Create by Rebekah Younger, MFA. I was put in an awesome state of encouragement. She started her book with a story about John Cage. I never knew who John Cage was because he was influential before I was born. The story goes like this: He created a controversial work in 1952 called 4’33”, which was written as bars of rest. When he played it for the first time at Woodstock, the crowd became angry because they didn’t hear the composition. The clever man made the boldest statement about silence.
He sat at the piano for the full length of bars and rested in his composition so that the audience could experience the amazing music in our surroundings. His composition was a form of meditation. Have you ever sat still, closed your eyes, and listened?
Try it. I dare you. I tried it and found myself feeling restless. I couldn’t feel comfortable with the silence within me. It seemed like it had no direction. I felt guilty sitting in silence. My mind drifted to many places.
Kitchen places, bedroom places, cleaning places, laundry places; then I pushed those thoughts away and went to my creative place. It seemed empty at first. A piece of paper. A pencil. A figure. Movement. It comes in puffs and spurts. As long as I linger, more comes. Just like the composition of John Cage, I start to hear the creativity of me and that around me. I feel encouraged. I can do it. It didn’t rain.
Contentment
bible.com/bible/116/php.4.13.NLT
No matter how foggy my brain can be, I will continue to work on my goals; improving my writing, teaching and learning. Creating is essential to growth. As hard as seizing the time to sit and write may be some days. Each moment that I put pen to paper and shut my critic off, I make progress. Be content in the struggle.
Captivating
Reflecting on the memories; I’m skipping along the dirt road where the speed limit couldn’t be any more than 5 mph because the bumps, dips, and rocks slowed any vehicle trying to travel faster with terrible shock repairs afterward. The trees seemed tall and grand. The brook talked playfully as the dragonflies dipped and soared around, catching food unseen. The sun would peek through the pines, warming my skin as I climbed the rocks to cross the brook, pretending to be an explorer in a strange land. I loved being outside, the air expanding my lungs and making them feel bigger than the usual breaths in the city.
Every weekend, I stayed with my grandparents, was a treasure to keep and sear in my mind forever. Mom had to work, so Mem and Pep stepped in to keep us safe and captivated in the surroundings they chose to use as their legacy. Like surrogate parents, they taught me and my brother all the responsibilities to share in a family. They loved to be outside. Sun Valley gave them the opportunity to establish solid memories and great times of fun and teaching with the element of laughter whenever warranted.
Campfires were one-of-a-kind because Harvey had a way with fire that called neighbors to come enjoy some fresh popcorn, beer and a game of cards on a chilly nights when the sun went to sleep. Watching him build each fire was like peeking into the process of a highly crafted artist, each stick and log in a specific place so that the oxygen could flow and give the fire its immense breath. How incredible! The colors he could bring out of the fire, made it seem like a rainbow with lots of reds, yellows and orange, then blues, purples and greens as the embers could still kick up a burst if prompted in the right way.
Just like the fire’s smells and colors, the days and nights spent in Sun Valley held our attention and our youth. These memories help me to see how camping and living with Mem and Pep on weekends, or whenever my mom had to work, pulled and formed me to become who I am and the pleasurable moments being outside can do.
Imagination
As I drove my son to school this morning, my mind began to wander to the memories of two years ago. In a rush, the feeling of a gravel sea tossing and turning us around in a storm pricked my sentiments. I checked my son in the rear view mirror. His smile causing me to imagine the Grace of Angels. My hands held the steering wheel a little tighter as we climbed steadily around and over the bridge that over-hung the Marina to our east. My eyes returned to the road. Taking a deeper breath than usual, I pushed the memories back again.
After passing the area where our accident took place two years ago, my imagination prevailed in creating a stable, normal sense of daily interactions. We are fortunate to be able to continue with our imaginable daily routine. We are fortunate to imagine faith, safety and grace. I have rosaries in my vehicle. My imagination helps me to see the symbol of power of faithful protection. While I am still plagued by the memories of that tempestuous event that nearly destroyed us, my imagination empowers me to strive for tranquility.
lynettevillegas 